Whod you bang
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
