Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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