I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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