he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
