I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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