He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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