She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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