This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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