marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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