So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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