If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
