Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
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thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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