did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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