No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
