3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
