I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Enjoy the penises
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
