If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
