Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize