I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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