I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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