Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
