Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
