Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sorry about my life...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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