I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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