Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
