I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
