did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
