Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
