I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
