i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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