All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
