Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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