i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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