I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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