Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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