i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
