How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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