We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
