I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
