Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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