I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
