I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize