The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
