Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
