After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
