There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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