my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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