just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Enjoy the penises
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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