On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
