She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
