i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
