Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
