it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
