hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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