thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
