he shaved USA in his pubs
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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