I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
