He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
