I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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