You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
