This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is not your playground.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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